Fartiquette

The entire farting etiquette in a relationship isn’t specifically laid out anywhere, is it?

Sadly, there’s no real handbook for the finer points.

There’s the usual stuff, y’know…you’re doin’ it and someone farts and it’s like ‘giggle giggle, tee hee’ maybe a quick ‘scuse me and then back to the business at hand, right?

Sure but what about the specifics of situations like when it’s cold and you’re bundled into the blankets havin’ a go and someone farts…what should you do with the blankets?

Do you pull them tight up around the both of you and carry on?

Right inside that Dutch Oven? Well that’s not sexy!

And what if you fail at keeping the blankets tight because if you’ve got your groove on (inside that filthy Dutch Oven) you’re suddenly pumping out all of that fart air up into your face?

Not Hot!

Or maybe Too Hot?

Either way, a potential mood killer for sure.

I suppose the only real option is to fart and fling the blankets off of you.

Go away bad smell – you are not sexy!

There should be pamphlets at the drugstore for this.